Lately, I have been hearing from quite a few single women that guys are not aggressive enough and that they do not approach the women they seem to be interested in meeting and that all they do is stare. After speaking with them briefly about this issue, it became very clear to me why this is the case. These women expect guys to do all the “work.” They don’t want to give the men they are interested in or might be interested in any signal of interest whatsoever, fearing that this would make them look needy or desperate or that it would be otherwise inappropriate. These women don’t realize that many, if not most, “normal” single men will not approach a woman if they don’t sense some kind of invitation from a woman that she is available and she would like to be approached by a guy. This doesn’t mean that you have to waive at him to come over and talk to you, but some kind of subtle gesture of attention from you, such as clear eye contact and a friendlier and a longer than usual smile can go a long way toward initiating an interaction, and making a difference between having a guy just stare at you and not daring to approach you and having all the confidence he needs to come up and talk to you.
To know why it is important to give the guy an invitation, you have to understand a typical male psychology. When a guy is thinking about approaching a woman and he notices that she looks and acts like she is not interested in being talked to or approached by anyone, this is discouraging to him. A simple smile and an eye contact can and often do go a long way toward giving many guys that little confidence that they need in order to approach and start talking to a woman. This is true in just about any situation.
Making eye contact and smiling at a guy does not make you needy or desperate. It only makes you look friendly and approachable – exactly the way you want to look if you are interested in having more guys approach you and start talking to you. This might sound like the oldest and the most basic advice, but it’s still as important as it ever has been. You cannot expect a guy approach you if disconnect yourself from the world by headphones and sunglasses (or both at the same time). There is simply no way around it – your eye contact is the most primal and the most essential element of meeting people. And, even though acting stuck up might make you feel like you are cool, it makes you virtually unapproachable to most civilized men.
If you found this article useful, make sure to check out our dating guide for women for more practical, effective tips on improving all aspects of your dating life and interactions with men.
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