From the earliest years of our lives we exercise that great skill we are given as humans – our ability to learn by observation and imitation. This is how we learn how to walk and how to talk among many other things during our very early childhood. But even as adults,we should take advantage of this incredible ability – to observe others, to decide what we like and what we don’t like so much in other people and apply the attractive qualities to our own behavior while considering whether we have the qualities that we find unattractive in others, and then trying to eliminate them in ourselves.
The skill of learning by observation is particularly useful in the context of becoming a more attractive person and a more attractive dating partner. Watching others is also something that we all do anyway as part of our day-to-day life. We all enjoy people watching and talking to our friends about how we perceive others. This is one of the reasons we go out and socialize. I believe being “analytical” from time to time and asking yourself why some people look more attractive to you than others will also open your eyes at the things that make you special as well as the possible flaws that you haven’t notice in yourself till you saw in others.
We all make quick judgments about the people we see. Many times, after you notice someone for a moment, you may assume all kind of things about that complete stranger: Is he a loser? A winner? Shy? Snobbish? Insecure? Confident? Happy? Down? Excited? Depressed? Well dressed? Trying too hard? Sloppy and apathetic to how he looks? What about that woman – is she too conservative? Promiscuous? Bubbly? Easy going? Down to earth? Classy and elegant? Trashy?
However, we rarely ask yourself the “why” question – what is it specifically that makes us assume any of the above about a person? I suggest that you try doing this from time to time. If you meet someone who you don’t like for whatever reason, ask yourself what specific things that person does that make him/her unattractive. Does he/she talk too much? Do they brag and talk about how wonderful they are? Do they complain? Are they being too loud in a public place which you find to be borderline embarrassing? If you meet someone you find attractive and charismatic on any level (romantic or social), ask yourself the same question: what makes that person make you want to be around him more and enjoy his company? Is he/she interesting and eloquent? Good listener? Well dressed and seem to be put together on the outside and the inside?
Any time you identify a positive or a negative quality that you notice in someone else, be it the way he speaks or behaves or the way he is dressed or is carrying himself, ask yourself whether you possess the qualities you like to see in others, and whether you have some of the flaws that you see in others that you could work in eliminating. This exercise is fun and does not require you to do anything that you are not already doing – being out and people watching. As just one very simple example, when you see a couple of guys out like the ones in the picture below, it should be a reminder to you of what you should not look like if you want to be attractive to the quality members of the opposite sex.
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